Don’t talk to me

CDC says you have to open mouth kiss your pilot every time you fly now or the plane will crash. CDC says only cowards don’t use tongue.

Elon Musk is your dad now wyd

Sifting thru #MetGala2022 fashion posts and updates about super omicron (TM) to find news about #RoeVWade being privately overturned is such peak dystopian nightmare research I am almost impressed thank you everyone we made it

You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you've done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you're tired.

Did not expect the minions to go this hard??

#MultiverseOfMadness isn’t being roasted enough like I’m sorry to say that even hot brilliant scary women could not save this one

"There's something animal-cruel inside of me / that manifests on rainy days." - I'm Sorry, but I Absolutely Hate This by @KatSmolinsky

Gonna ask Ari Aster if he’s interested in making this new horror film

My favorite part of #ChicagoPrideParade was the kink/ leather daddy float being immediately followed by JP Morgan Chase

Cancer szn continued

Still thinking about the friend who recently told me I looked “well fed” like ???????

You know when you’re hot and have a masters degree but also you’re mentally ill (TM) so you KNOW FOR A FACT that you’re also DUMB and UNTALENTED and BAD AT THINGS and DISAPPOINTING EVERYONE YOU KNOW and probably bad at kissing and your dog hates you and you’ll be poor 4ever???

“Look, I feel like we’re calling out the ‘meritocracy of suffering’ that SAIC cultivates for its non-tenure-track faculty, and rather than hash out the protocol for another scarcity olympics, we’re going to stand with our staff colleagues & student activists, and …

??????!!! 😭

Rory Gilmore / Pencil on found paper / 2022

another year, another Corn Throne Photo

Reading these #BrosMovie tweets are wild it’s like super valid criticism about its poor marketing and basic plot and then trolls with anime pfps saying “I’m insulted Billy called me a homophobe when I really just am viscerally repulsed by seeing gay people”

Happy Birthday, Matthew Macfadyen!