i’m at that point in my life where doing anything that involves leaving my house sounds like the worst thing on earth

i need someone to follow me around and constantly remind me to unclench my jaw

fuck my stupid chungus life

the people of toronto yearn for zohran mamdani

i am the way that i am because every time i thank my dad for doing something nice for me, he says, “that’s unnecessary. you’re my daughter”

nooo don’t get a bbl you’re so sexy

if i could do a backflip i would literally never stop

my coworker just told me he doesn’t understand why he got broken up with and when i asked if he cheated, he said yes. i can’t believe this

i live in constant fear of my coworkers finding my social media

i feel like people who have really strong opinions about pineapple on pizza are soooo boring

accidentally clicked the “ask to buy” button on depop and now i just look desperate

apple got rid of the space grey colour specifically because they hate me

planning something for your birthday in december is actually a humiliation ritual

i look sad but it’s my birthday

the most annoying people you will ever meet are those who bring their dogs everywhere

how do i stop feeling sick to my stomach all the time

please be nice to me

unfortunately i do need a phone with 1tb of storage