McDonald's worker: Can I take your order? Trump: I am not a rapist or a pedophile.

The only MAGA wife who wasn't abandoned after shots were fired this weekend was Katie Miller and that's just because Stephen Miller was using her as a human shield.

The White House has assured King Charles that he will be safe during his visit because there are no assassination attempts scheduled today.

If a reporter asks Trump about the day Ivana Trump died he’s going to respond with a “I didn’t push her!! I’m not a murderer”

“So what’s your brother up to these days, he was always a laugh”

Und *gegessen

Mexico will pay for the ballroom

So Trump cancelled comedy at the WHCD this year only to get roasted in his own house by the fucking King of England? 😂

Any Epstein related arrests yet?

“Men are natural leaders” babe, they can't even schedule a doctor’s appointment..

Meanwhile…. Lindsey Graham:

Auf nach WALhalla!🐳

History of the USA: - King of England imposes taxes - America declares independence - Things go well for nearly 250 years - America elects a moron - Moron imposes taxes - King of England gets taxes removed

A GoFundMe to support this would erase the national debt

Trump would put his name on his dick if it were big enough.

Now I hate Pepsi even more.