Me: My child is - I don’t let my parents sleep through the night- years old. Parents everywhere: So... how old? 1? 5? 20?

The only acceptable noise in the morning is that of fresh coffee beans being ground.

When you click with somebody and then they have the audacity to live very far away. Everyone on Twitter.

Why. Can’t. Toddlers. Blow. Their. Noses. Come on evolution. Get it together. #momlife #boogers

Wife: how was potty training today? Me: he went in the toilet. Wife: that’s amazing! Me: *pulling toddler out of the toilet* not really.

Confession: I avoid using affect/effect while texting and DMing because I never remember which is which.

Had a dream in which Olivia Benson saved the Teen Titans from a sex trafficking ring. It’s possible kiddo and I watch too much TV.

I work with a guy who is irrepressibly positive He listens, is thoughtful, and brings infectious energy. It’s easy to vent about the people who bring us down But we forget those who lift us UP. I hope you have people like this in YOUR life They make life worth living.🙏🏻

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

Kid: Sleeps like shit Mom: Doesn’t sleep Kid: Sleeps great Mom: Checks on kid 1,000 times to make sure she/he is still breathing. *Still doesn’t sleep Forever and ever until we die... #MomLife

I’m still looking for fun fall activities for a one year old. Send me your ideas! messymama18.com/october-activi…

New Post messymama18.com/2019/09/12/new…

Grab a cup of coffee, take a seat, and let’s discuss Slapping Toddlers and the 5 Stages of Parent Guilt, on this edition of Morning Coffee Thoughts.  messymama18.com/2019/09/12/sla…

Evicting Negative Voices and Building Boundaries ow.ly/DCXs30pwFfU

Stop making excuses; stop waiting for it to pass, or get better. If you are scared now, you are going to be scared tomorrow? messymama18.com/2019/09/17/fac…

If you are an avid follower, you may be biting your nails in anticipation. Who is this Messy Mama? messymama18.com/2019/09/18/bet…