Who the hell says I'm scary?!?!

Doesn't he have enough to rub up all over his ego? Does he really need the hipster population, too? Wait. Forgot his affinity for man-buns. Makes total sense now.

You have /no/ idea. #DarkerAuction

Moi? A beast?!

This just got awkward.

Someone looking for me? Other than my dealer?

Pedro or Seth? Wait...I paid Pedro what I owed and I narc'd out Seth so it can't be them. Wait! Is it that new chick who smuggled my eightball in her snatch? She seems nice.

THAT'S A DIRTY LIE! I only fucked Paco. I never scored drugs from him. Unless you count that acid tab he placed on the tip of his cock, but no one ever counts that.

This looks like an outtake from a douche commercial.

Oh, please. Douching is completely a man thing since they're the ones afraid of a little vaginal essence. It's more of a self-cleaning oven that bakes a baby. Maybe that kind of comment drives the whole "Lilith eats babies" thing.

Did someone reference my mating call?

The subtle rustling of paper which has a 30...no 60 count prescription of Vicodin etched elegantly upon it.

It's me! Pretend that didn't excite you sluggos.

I brought the party favors!

Which one of you sluts missed me most?