Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

FUCK.

Me too, but I’m not having my photo taken looking like a muppet. Bless her.

I feel like a secret agent, drunk whilst spending Christmas with my mother.

If anyone wondered where I got it from, my mum is /so/ drunk right now.

Mum’s gone home. I survived.

This guy. These adverts. Give up, mate! I’m not selling my flat for your hot shit! x.com/writtenlnlnk/s…

#ThrowbackThursday x.com/merlynkingston…

Who’s hosting a good old fashioned piss up on New Year’s Eve, then?

Like a real Angel answering my prayers. Look at that. x.com/onlastorders/s…

TRAITOR. x.com/nikolaiwoodall…

I’m not sober yet. It’s fab.

*Merlyn is internally screaming.*

What’s up, assholes?

*Hangs out at the bar with Angie Robbins.… and he’s not even drinking anything.*