oh you stole my mario party star? go fuck yourself. we will never be friends ever again.

Hungover with no sunglasses on a 2 hour drive… bring it on

My bad math skills Re getting me in trouble at the gym… I wanted to add 10lbs to a bar, ended up adding 20lbs cause I forgot how math worked 🤦🏻‍♀️

Social anxiety is alive and making me not well

If I get to the gym exactly at 6, how many people will I have to actually have to see?

Tell me why listening to Dio makes me wanna go play pool in some dive bar

I did not know John Rhys-Davies also voiced Treebeard! 😮

I’m in the fucking Twilight Zone and I can’t fucking wait to leave

“I want to make some bad decisions tonight”, I say as I pull into the Taco Bell drive-thru

You don't drive off until you see that person walk into their house

when i was a kid that norad santa tracker was the most convincing evidence in the world to me that santa was real. i literally got into a fight with my friends about it when i was 6 or 7 bc i was like “do you seriously think the military would lie to us”

Sitting at an airport Margaritaville, having a rum and coke while listening to Christmas music =✨Perfection✨

Why did I think I could get away from an old white man shitting on democrats and mansplaining the stock market and American economy in an Austrian ski town

Sitting in a burger joint in Zurich listening to Akon’s “Slap That” and Kanye’s “Stronger” is a little surreal 😅

Why does my trainer hate me? She bumped all my super sets up from 3 to 4 😭😭

As the volleyball winter session gets closer and closer and I realize I’m on 6 teams, my thoughts are simply:

Why New Hampshire seem like a made up state?

It’s been 13 years on Twitter… damn I feel old 😂

The siren song of the screaming espresso machine called to me