normalize dressing slutty in the office

All the babies are rewatching Girls, and therefore so am I.

I’ve seen the episode. My piece of advice? Make sure you watch with a friend.

You know it’s real when he cleans out your AirPods case

I once had a boyfriend cheat on me, so I decided to never speak to him again. In retrospect, a televised three-part reunion of me going absolutely IN on him would have been better.

Today I was told I text in “a manly way.”

today was a good day (I pet three bodega cats)

I’ve seen the tweets about how a person falls asleep quickly with a partner they feel safe with, so how do you make your significant other feel less safe? Because I would love to make it through an ep of The Bear together.

Did we not already know aspartame was a carcinogen? I swear my mom told me that growing up. Then again she also warned me not to wear overalls because it made it easier for predators to grab me in case you were wondering what my childhood was like.

I love watching my friends succeed (become a throuple)

stop and pet the puppies

Me to my bf after traveling to a small island by two trains, 3 cars, and 1 plane: “So have you ever been here with anyone else?”

Just saw a beautiful man walking in NYC with a Whataburger t-shirt on, and now it’s my Texas-born duty to marry him and procreate.

My greatest fear in life is someone has recorded audio of my dog and me alone.

read receipts >>> flowers

my job requires me to work with assets titled things like tom-sandoval-attempted-dog-murder.jpg

I’ve been put in charge of planning our office “team building” activity, and I’m just really excited for us to experience ketamine together.

Josh O’Connor is the best actor since Brad Pitt in terms of eating with gusto on screen.

What I love most about Tell Me Lies is how they pair accurate aspects of the 2007 college experience (The Postal Service, Blackberries) with completely fictional elements (male abs).

What all my friends and family will be receiving from me this Christmas