I’ll be giving out free moustache rides after my 40th tuck tonight. #milfsonly

Leafs lines tonight, emoji edition: Thornton 🧔 - Matthews 🏜 - Marner 🍎 Galchenyuk 🤮 - Tavares 🐍 - Nylander 👱‍♂️ Mikheyev 🍲 - Kerfoot 🦶 - Noesen 👃 Engvall 🦒 - Spezza 🍷 - Simmonds 🚉

Well thanks to my liney I won’t need to scroll pornhub tonight #soupoftheday #alwaysbellybutton

I’m gonna have so many hot moms sitting directly on my nose tonight

Ya I’m gonna win the Richard no brainer

NHL goal leaders since the start of last season: 1. Auston Matthews: 87 2. Alex Ovechkin: 72 3. Leon Draisaitl: 71 4. David Pastrnak: 67 5. Connor McDavid: 65

Mitch Marner has 67 points in 54 games. He’s third in NHL scoring. Connor McDavid has more assists than Marner has points. Marner’s pace over 82 games is 102 points, which would be the 4th-most productive Leafs season ever. McDavid has 100 points and a 155 point pace. Mutant.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the milfs I am #inone

Call me crazy but soup HAS to be better during the playoffs

91 🙏🏻 💙

Shout out to this beautiful women for sticking with me #weightloss #shawty

I wonder what Nathan MacKinnon would say if he walked in on me eating his moms ass

I’m gonna suck Willy’s balloon knot in the showers after that one!

I’m gonna fake glove and shoot a quick one low blocker… hopefully lehner doesn’t see this tweet.

I’m gonna make belly button soup tonight just thinking of Willy’s goals

Get ready to make some panty pudding tonight. I’m putting one where your mom keeps her dildo in the first minute of the game

Not to take anything away from Erik Källgren but he proved tonight that all the leafs need is someone to make “expected” saves