rihanna responding to “what are you looking for in a man?” and then walking away lives in my mind rent-free

this can’t be the future dippin dots was the ice cream of

My toxic trait is thinking I could do the luge in the Olympics

Got tangled up in the cord on my electric blanket & fell flat on my face when I stood up 🥲

i think it's so cool my ancestors survived plagues, famine, and wars so i could stare at screens until my head hurts

That time a bunch of kids broke into my private facility but I wasn’t mad about it. 🚀🛹

Idk what the man walking in the rain & eating a bag of crazy bread is goin’ through, but I feel it

i just want baseball to give me the opportunity for the reds to break my heart

i will spend all day answering one email then look in the mirror like you did it queen

Me- “before you get outta my car, I have to know-do you think Pete Davidson is hot? Because I kinda do” Megan McKinney  - “I’m leaving, bye”

Felt like I finally had my life together because I went to my HIIT workout class every day this week, then I came home & ate an entire box of Cheez-It’s

remember the Disney Channel movie where the kid finds out he's part leprechaun

Working in social media is cool until your Gen Z coworker drags you for filth for saying you prefer physical copies of books over audio

*me, about to buy my own place, talking about throwing a housewarming party* My mom -

One person’s life lesson is another person’s trauma

I am ✨begging✨ y’all to watch this

🥺 just what I needed Megan McKinney 