It already feels better.

$50k in a day! Let’s double our goal and keep the Snixxmas spirit alive in memory of Naya. 💕 gofundme.com/f/snixxmas-cha…

Ever take a sleeping pill and then apply to adopt 20 different dogs on shelter websites? Don’t recommend.

Best bidet brand names on amazon: Tushy, BOOTY Bidet, Purrfect Zone, Butt Buddy, CLEAR REAR, Toodle Loo.

Good news. My phone now autocorrects “starting” to “sharting.” Happy New Year.

so far 2021 is just 2020 with bangs

Her: I’m going to be off work for the month of March. Me: Aw, are you finally going home to visit family? Her: Nope. The gov’t fucked my small biz so badly that I’m taking their PPP loan, getting the fat sucked out of my stomach & injected into my tits. #grabbing2021bythetits

Amanda Gorman for President. You know, eventually.

Anyone else have a week in which they ended up in a Whole Foods parking lot inhaling turkey pepperoni directly from the bag in their car and it was in that moment that they finally felt free? No? Just me?

I think America owes Britney Spears an apology.

Monica Lewinsky is a smokeshow

I’ve been told I need to have more healthy entitlement in the workplace, but I’ve taken that feedback and exclusively applied it to my nail salon experience. And I will never walk out with smudged nail again.

we threw a picture of every los feliz mom and dad into a computer and it auto-generated this as the result

Day 3 with no wifi due to RAIN in LA. Read a catalog cover to cover with my breakfast. Discovered that the only music I actually have downloaded to my phone is the Mamma Mia soundtrack. Did HIIT to the dulcet sounds of Meryl Streep. I’m a survivor.

I’m convinced that I’m the only one with a spouse who considers expiration dates//general food rules to be challenges he needs to overcome. On today’s episode: forgot leftover short ribs in car overnight/all day today, heated them up for dinner.

The only thing that can make me question why I live in Los Angeles: stepping foot into the Beverly Hills Erewhon. Not traffic. Not taxes. Not Hollywood climber types. Beverly. Hills. Erewhon.

I just GASPED at the memory of Dawson Leery’s dad dying in a car accident because he dropped. his. ice. cream. cone. and bent down to get it while driving, taking his eyes off the road and bam. Savage way to go out and yet…relatable.

Ban Apple watches with formal wear.

Don't mess with mother. Michelle Yeoh is back in action in the teaser for THE BROTHERS SUN, coming to Netflix on January 4, 2024 #GeekedWeek