are they like mad at me or just at the mall too

Someone should kill that adult monkey

No I can’t do this again

St. Francis proposed entering a bonfire with Muslim scholars; if he emerged unscathed, the Sultan would have to recognize Christianity as the true faith. The Sultan refused.

i can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while im not home

do something FBI NATO God

I’ve been broke but I’ve never lacked gym membership money. I understand anyone with an addiction.

We don’t have the technology for strapless bras yet

Por Dios santo duerman a ese gato si tienen algo de compasión.

It's literally our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

at some point a man will tell u not to use wrist straps because u should improve ur grip strength instead & it is very important that u laugh in his face for thinking a woman cares more about her “grip strength” than growing a nice round ass & strong toned legs

After 10 seasons I think we as a society can finally conclude that love is not blind

6yo (to her crying brother): "It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad." Me: "Oh darling, that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?" 6yo: "I hit him."

Also, if you don’t feel going to the gym, my best advice is go to the gym because nobody asked how you feel.

hate when a mf ask me "what u do for a living" nigga i do what i gotta do

Mr Darcy always be chopped in every adaptation

sapete perché è importante castare i boni? perché altrimenti la gente superficiale (io) non li vede i film

me waiting for the best part of the song to hit before lifting the weight that might kill me

Lamentablemente no puedo ver películas con actores feos

Je suis mort c’est un criquet ou quoi