"ctfu" why are u telling me to chut the fuck up?

me when i accidentally lose the hat that prevents me from freaking the fuck out

Getting into male dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch

we are losing the ancient texts

give whoever is responsible for putting robert pattinson in geek glasses a 50% raise

shit has been named poop of the year by ass

Back in my day when you saved a document it would go a main folder called documents and you knew where it was because it was in the folder called documents

you should torture your brother with jumper cables

Did the journal factory explode is the funniest and most relateable thing I’ve heard in a long time

goodbye seasonal depression, HELLO body dysmorphia season

Modern escapism is wishing you were a minimum wage worker in 1995

have had this on repeat in my head for the past hour

We only got like 10 new sentences left

The strongest natural predator of the elderly is now learning to hunt on its own

What should I do for dinner and the entire rest of my life