Just a reminder that MBTA# cars do NOT have on-duty lifeguards. Please enjoy the puddles at your own risk

Did you know: the Quincy Adams garage was been built by the Wampanoag Indians around 1710 and has been left untouched since #mbta #mbtacares

@RideLikeCharlie HUMBLEBRAG!

I know I'm biased but, putting aside the delays, the smell, and the cost, the #mbta really is the best public transportation imaginable

Jacoby Ellsbury's 3-run home run is brought to you by the #MBTA. Next time you get pounded mercilessly by a bat, think of the MBTA!

Anyone know the man driving Ashmont train 129? He is not an #mbta employee and is reportedly wearing only a diaper. Train's on time, though.

Tired of urine-soaked seats on the T? Visit our online #mbta store for liquid-resistant* seat cushions (*not resistant to urine)

@Bfosta09 500 ft. per every 45 mins. is the optimal speed for low carbon emissions #mbta #mbtacares

@Bfosta09 I cannot endorse this strategy. It would save tons of money & make everyone healthier. at the #mbta, we call this "bad policy"

@RideLikeCharlie would you describe this person as a great #MBTA employee or the GREATEST MBTA employee?

Fear not - given today's Sox game, we will be deploying extra trains at rush hour. Just kidding...it's gonna be another clusterfuck #mbta

Attention riders: all service will be delayed this morning due to *shakes magic 8-ball* severely pleasant weather. Plan accordingly #mbta

Easily worth the 7 years shaved off the end of your life “North Shore TMA: Boston ranks 2nd in US in #MBTA Public Transit Commuter Savings!”

sounds low. “Lloyd Brown: Could we really lose $100M a day for nation's transportation system? ow.ly/1vTlw0”

Spy Kids 4 in 'Aromascope'? Big deal...the #mbta has had Aromascope for years. And you don't have to pay $7 to get it. Well, sorta.

Attention #mbta riders - service will be delayed the morning due to *shakes magic 8-ball* high pollen levels. Please plan accordingly

We're sorry for the delays on the Red Line, but 2 trains can't occupy the same space at the same time. This is the #mbta

Yet

#mbta rider tip: guy moving around with huge backpack-account for the giant hump on your back, fuckwit. Even Hitler wouldn't be such a dick

@prEcEdEnt_3 on the #mbta, we wonder: why are you ramming your suitcase into my shin? Why did you pack so much? At rush hour...really?