Oh so thaaat’s how you connect two fish tanks with a modular expansion… oops 😅🤦🏻‍♂️

A gentle reminder...

Whatever a tree told me to do, I would do

Get some pho

If I text you “🧴🫃🏻😴” it means “my lotion made that pregnant guy sooo sleepy”

RedBull sponsors a multitude of seriously dope events

Kinda wild how the song of the summer is Len’s “Steal My Sunshine” for a 26th consecutive year.

Imagine me pole vaulting to “Clocks” by Coldplay. Now look down at your arm. You have chills.

All of a sudden 100% of my Instagram ads went from photos of overpriced sweaters to text that says: “Create your unique trauma profile now” / “Discover the link between self-loathing and paralysis” / “Sign-up for our repressed memory recovery workshop is free”

Some days you just wanna scare everyone by posting about self-empowerment…

First thing that comes up when you search "i hate myself" on Netflix is... Young Sheldon!

A lot of queer people lead Italian lives

This guy lookalike contest. Right outside my window please. Every night at the stroke of midnight.

Not to be dramatic but I dreamt that my friends killed my dog and then gaslit me about it

I don’t wanna see 2 to 3 people, sitting in a tiny room, all with microphones, EVER!!

Getting nostalgic for worse and worse things

You need a certain stage presence to be catholic

Hi just needed to brag that I dreamt I was mini golfing with the Spice Girls

Why are celebs always looking sooo fucking bad on boats and how the hell are people always getting pics of it