BRRRRR it's cold out there! Why don't you come inside to the Anchorage Museum and watch movies with me and some other cool peeps for Home Made Film Nite 3? There will even be a brand new episode of my show Matt & Megan! Doors open at 6, show starts at 7. Best of all, it's FREE!

Goddamn money makes a comedian suck #ChrisRockLive

There a market for a dude life coach who will just talk shit with you?

So is being a parent mostly just feeling like you’re doing a bad job because your kid isn’t quite hitting all their developmental benchmarks on time?

Cooking ground turkey and some juice got in my eye. Am I gonna die? I’m only kinda joking.

Anchorage doesn’t deserve the good old days. We had Alaska Bagel, Bagel Factory, and Marty’s Bagel Deli and we let them all down.

As always, #fuckthepolice #acab m.facebook.com/story.php?stor…

I’m in too many group chats with 90% of the same people in each of them.

Dealt with a sick baby all weekend and honesty I envy the people who lived in the time when leeches were the cure to everything

Trying to get my baby to put on some lbs got me feeling like the witch fattening up Hansel and Gretel

I would actually pay for Twitter Blue / Meta Verified / whatever bullshit if they were completely ad free

He is risen #HappyEaster

If any of y’all migrated over to Substack, feel free to follow me on there for more long form writing substack.com/profile/160883…

Who’s the sad white boy folk rock musician in your town and do you actually like them or is there just not a lot going on where you live?

We as a society should unite and find it unacceptable to take longer than one minute at an ATM

Fuck the police instagram.com/reel/CxLfb7UsC…

The native social media icons widget on Weebly desperately needs to be updated. How does it still have Google+ but not TikTok. Come on guys.

Fuck scalpers, but also fuck the capitalistic society that makes people desperate to squeeze out a little bit of extra money wherever they can. polygon.com/23894429/pokem…

Oh cool the camera accessory I bought to feel more creative but am never actually gonna use just arrived

Many of my favorite comedians pretty much just give humorous TED Talks now… which is perfectly fine and still enjoyable to me, but let’s stop pretending what they’re doing is still stand-up