Everyone will be very happy to hear that 100 hours later and only 13 years late, T.Zareeko and I finally finished the office

.Jessie James Decker welcome to #patsnation! While the hubby is kickin’ ass on the field come kick ass in our studio (Pure Barre Foxborough), we’ll hook it up. 💪🏽 #LTB #purebarre #go81

Adulting is planning your work schedule around your dogs day care schedule

Luke’s day care report card: played with a dog named Tyler and got stuck in a couch... No denying he’s our dog 🤦🏽‍♀️

Wedding pro tip: avoid making new friends so you don’t have to invite them to your wedding Life pro tip: avoid making new friends so you can stay in and be in bed by 9 Key takeaway: avoid making new friends

First shower after getting off a plane:

I measure time by hours till my next meal

I thought dogs didn’t like to make direct eye contact with humans? My dog legit has staring contests with me... and usually wins.

I realized bitches post pictures of their food on insta and then don’t actually eat it, so now I have trust issues and expect pictures of bitches eating, because we all deserve the truth.

Talking about Lucas making friends at daycare...

Actual footage of me preparing to read Nicholas Sparks’ new novel #EveryBreath being released October 16. #ironictitle

I think 2012 Maddie was just subconsciously preparing T.Zareeko for married life.

Chrissymas Treeigen has spoken ya’ll. It’s time. @chrissyteigen #ALegendaryChristmas

Did I need it: NO Did I want it: YES Did I get it: YES My life story.

Also, attention all future brides. Let me plan your wedding. Sincerely, Your future wedding planner

Stamps are really just mini airplane tickets for mail

Don’t care how great of an athlete you are, please take public speaking classes.

True life: When I first heard H.O.L.Y. I thought FGL was a Christian band.

Does anyone else get really competitive when they see an “I love my (fill in the blank breed) dog,” like no I actually love my dog more thank you very much.

Anytime I hear the song “Like a G6” I’m overcome with the smell of tanning beds, McDonald’s and UV Blue. #whatatimetobealive