Anyways I'm new here... abit about me! Currently North Bristol Vape Skills Champion (longest breath inhale with no splutters and hoops record) I'm a business man Easy going but hard on the facts..

I once took a shit in my local library.. Nigel the librarian wasn't too happy Harry Potter up until chapter 3 was a good read though #WorldBookDay

Good morning twitter... especially my Uncle Simon who came 3rd in the East Gloucester Arm wrestling tournament last night.. all them years of farming and wanking behind the cow barn have served him well.. #letsgochamp #proud

Currently on the school run for my nephew Rylan.. he's 2nd year Alevels now , how long will this bastard go on for? College as well?? MARTYN

Disappointed at the customer service in Carpetright UK this morning... there's no signs to say you can't Vape naked on the deep pile rugs #vaping #carpet #makeyourselfathome

Popped into WHSmith this afternoon to buy my Vape Skills magazine and there's still no Kevin Webster "Scuffles on the cobbles" biography in stock ..Pfft Amazon.co.uk from now on #timeforchange #soup MARTYN

My Uncle Jeffrey after completing the game MOON FACE on the Amstrad. We'd spend all summer gaming in the attic in the 80's. Only time we would see sunlight would be to head to woolworths to look at Hulk Hogan posters or swing punching pigeons outside the arcade

Just watching the new #MarioMovie and I'm throughly disappointed that there's no Greco-Roman Roman Wrestling scenes included in there. Cmon Universal Pictures wheres the inclusivity #bowzer #standup #inclusive #ruddywellpissedoff

Pokemon unleash their new snooker card set with sublime marketing skills..Bravo guys 🙌🏻 Not sure why you didn't get Jim Davidson in though to do it though #extramile

Admiring the shrubs outside of my front door.. reminds me of the time I pushed H from Steps into it after our arm wrestling tournament turned sour. #drinkingmemories #strength #steps #5-6-7-8

Love the new Parkside tool holder in @LidlGB ..seriously thinking of buying it for my Uncle Derek's Modded Vape collection #large #vapeholder #bravo

Great to see Greg's are introducing integrated vape chargers onto their tables now .. bravo guys MARTYN

Great to know I'm doing my bit... enjoying my regular Half Vegan breakfast today at morrisons... #veganshowoff #breakfast MARTYN

Kid at the end "can I have some pizza!?" Hahaha

Nice parachute to head down quickly would do here ..MARTYN

Absolutely fuming...bought this, opened it up and there's a bite out of it .. .pffft that bite was me but that's not the point.. MARTYN