Neil Atkinson I haven't worked out a pun based on his name yet, but I'm sure eventually the jokes Will Wright themselves.

Man United could be about to pay £112m for Carlos Baleba. Those dinnerladies must've been getting paid an absolute fortune.

If you are reading Newcastle's statement tonight and still think there is a chance Alexander Isak will be joining Liverpool this summer, good luck to you. You're going to need it. I've been trying to tell you all summer what the situation was. Some of you didn't want to listen

Urban Kop A jellied eel on my chest We are always second best The team that plays the gooner way And bottles trophies when it's May

Champions 1-Bridesmaids 0

Also, where’s their top 6 record now!

And now for 2 weeks of international football that bores us all silly

It was never a trophy anyway

No PGMOL shouts?

BREAKING: A topless Luke Edwards has been spotted in Newcastle city centre, shouting "ONCE AGAIN FOR THE HARD OF HEARING ISAK IS NOT FOR SALE!" at a group of confused pigeons. More to follow.

Said it for ages, every time they sack a manager, they get worse

Florian Wirtz is an elite footballer. Couldn't care a fuck what a load of 15 year old kids on here who stink of piss think.

15 mins before kick off

No one’s forcing him, he knows Liverpool want him

Mad that the pts difference between Liverpool and 2nd is the same as 2nd to 1st

No. Couldn’t give a fuck what other teams are doing. The fact people do is just fucking weird

Transfer deadline day is gonna be a belter for sky sports this year 💤

Fair play to Mansfield knocking Burnley out, and good luck to them in the next round at Man City

Not a pound in the ground 🙁

Liverpool have to beat this poor Chelsea side Saturday surely???