this is the paper towel where my dad puts all of the folded chips he finds during his little snacks. he does it bc those are my mom’s favorite, so when she gets home from work there’s just a stack of them waiting

I’m on call this Christmas, but my dad registered as a “student shadower” so that he could spend part of the holiday with me. 😊

Could’ve put a down payment on a Lamborghini

The days between Christmas and New Year are when I realize my destiny to become an extended part of my sofa

honestly being shallow looks so relaxing. world crumbling around you but no stress, just Anthropologie catalogues and vibes

i love to lay down. love it. can’t think of anything better honestly.

my 15 year old neighbor is having an awkward time at Catholic school but his angle of resistance is arguing with the religion teacher that "life doesn't begin until you have a gut microbiome" and I'm losing my mind at how funny of a curveball that is

America is the only country in the world where 700 billionaires can become $1.7 trillion richer during the pandemic & pay a lower tax rate than a nurse while 46 million owe $1.7 trillion in student debt, 113 million struggle to pay for healthcare & 600,000 are homeless.

when i discover music before someone else that means i’m better than them

Seen today in downtown Lincoln

history changing decisions made by people who are old enough to go into cardiac arrest with just one sip of a mcdonalds sprite. do we see the problem.

I said to my wife "Do you think anyone will commit suicide because they could not get an abortion?" She instantly replied "yes." Then she added "there will be all those boyfriends and husbands that murder them because they couldn't get one too" and that shook my fucking world.

Be able to see if the baths too hot while still sitting on the sofa

don’t forget your starbiesss todayyy

getting pulled to the side on iron chef and being told im using too many paper towels while I cook

What’s wrong, babe? You’re not taking any Jong rips

the magic school bus could be in your ass rn and you wouldn’t even know