i stole a pack of cigarettes from my aunt today and i cant stop smoking oops

it's so hard for me to fast bc i was in recovery last year and my dad knows about my ed so even when i'm not showing signs my dad + therapist/psychiatrist make me eat. like my psychiatrist watches my weight and i need her for meds so 😟

Heat lightning, watch it from my doorstep Sleeping eyelid of the sky flutters in a dream

lemon white claws taste like ass gn

9-started going on diets, counting calories, working out 10-ate less and less it was more about control than body image 11+restricting + binge cycle 13-bulimia idk if this makes sense

depression has made starving a breeze but i hate that food is a mandatory thing. same with sleep. like i'd rather just not eat or sleep and continue living my life the same way

ik this is unhealthy but i've been not sleeping and it feels like i'm fasting but instead of food it's sleep i am manic and haven't been taking my antipsychotics maybe ignore this

i have a psychiatrist appointment tmrw: she knows i had an ed last year and im supposed to be recovered now idk but she weighs me and i know my weight has dropped and i really don't want to do impatient but that's the next step if i don't make progress😃 idk what to do lol

hi everyone i'm gonna be gone for a while, i'm asking my dad to take me to the mental hospital bc i'm not ok like at all, ilysm (ik i barely tweet lol) stay safe everyone!!!

ok update i couldn't go bc i was super sick almost had alcohol poisoning super bummer👍

i don't even have to worry about food on my birthday bc i'm gonna be alone all day lmfao

nvm.

i skipped my meds did not sleep i'm sooooooooo