sorry babe no sex rn, the groupchat is active and i'm trying to get my joke in before they change topics

i hope the trees know i notice them

i need everything about airplanes to be extremely serious no funny shit like this

when i cry my cat always comes up to obnoxiously rub against my face and i think that is love

they should invent a day where i figure it all out

i wish there was a more intense way to express my emotions than crying. i want to burst into flames

when i call a cat chonky, i am not fatshaming him. in fact, i am fatpraising him.

No I can’t meet you for a drink, I’m busy monitoring this monkey situation.

Não me lembro de muita coisa mas não esqueço o código do dinheiro do Sims. motherlode

when i stream a song the night it comes out and it randomly becomes a hit later

tweeting like the musicians playing the violin on the Titanic.

i love when british ppl are like ‘innit’ like yeah innit

I hate when interviewers ask me where I see myself in 5-7 years dawg im killing myself next year I don’t know !!!!!

the cat hair is part of the fit

Taking a midday nap alongside your cat is so special like yes please show me your culture

you’ve gotta read the room bro there’s an elephant

#sstvi