...Pretending to be an alligator

Forfty percent

“A-wop-bop-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-boom.”

I was eating healthy and discovered the #redneckfireplacechannel

#thechner

Spend all day with baby...when baby goes to sleep, spend rest of awake time looking at pictures of baby...#everyday

Baby farts are just as loud if not louder than adult farts. This I did not know..but do now.

My daughter laughed for the first time today!😂😭Life is good.

No shit of a lie I just said to my wife “hey do you wanna order tacos tonight?” And my baby daughter immediately pooed so loud it scared us all

Honestly if you’re 25-36 and from Woodbridge and surrounding areas you’re saving so much money by not going to weddings this year...might as well just buy that gitoni table

youtu.be/aX4R4mHb4bg

News from the south is that McDonald's is bringing back ‘orange high C’..... I don’t know what that shit is...but if McDonald's 🇨🇦 could PLEASE back ‘Orange Drink’ that would be like....covid never happened!

If for some reason getting an amber alert on your phone prompts you to call 911 and complain...you are a certifiable fucking moron and don’t deserve a phone. ✌🏻

The first time I ever listened to The Strokes, all I could think of was the intro song to The adventures of Snelgeove snail.....