The picture frame I was hanging fell and hit me on the head. As I lay on the ground I hear my son say “hold on my moms knocked”...#fortnite

Gavin, the son of our MRI technologist Christine, made a great “thank you” for Bob Kraft for the #PPE donation. #COVID19

"Being that I am the first born in my family...I'm cool with it." 12yo's opening argument for a one child policy

I started taking shots each time Donald sniffed. I apologize now for how I will look at school drop off tomorrow. #Debates

I would describe my current fitness level as "It's a good thing I'm already married."

Mr. Sniffles is back #debate #debate2016 #snifflingtrump

So many sniffles so many tremendous sniffles. The hugest sniffles ever. #debate

I love when he says "bigly" while waving his tiny hand around in a itsy bitsy little okay sign. #debate

It's crazy how many things are rigged against a super-rich hotelier who's been a super rich heir since the day he was born. #debate

Spread the word and make a difference. Donate a tweet a day to #stopchildabuse. mo.nu/r/helpspreadth… ☞justcoz.org

I don't necessarily have Trophy Wife potential but I could totally rock Participation Ribbon Wife status.

I trust someone in the House of Representatives is drafting the articles of impeachment this morning.

Husband : "I love these jeans they are so stretchy and have tiny pockets!" Me: "Take of my jeans."

Donald J. Trump I see you like alternative photography.

Spread the word and make a difference. Donate a tweet a day to #stopchildabuse. mo.nu/r/helpspreadth… ☞justcoz.org

Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.

Really Zulily it helps this was delivered on April Fools day...

My 13yo daughter claimed I humiliated her when I actually had the audacity to bring a suitcase with me for our overnight stay in a hotel.