Should never signed for a blind dating website knowing my mum was on there too, that was one awkward kiss ffs x

Sometimes I stand staring in a mirror for a long period of my day and just cannot believe that the gash isn’t making an orderly que

When it hits 18 degrees in February

Shouldn’t be going out with a 15 year old anyways 💁🏻‍♀️

2 years today but never forgotten, Rest easy Soldier ❤️

He’ll be back soon with a spring in his step x

When Emerson says “one two” in the middle of the park and just turns and has a dig from 25 yards x

Just been over taken by a KA, windows down, playing Shawn Mendes- Stitches. You hate to see it x

21 years on this planet and stacking vegetables in Sainsbury’s has to be my biggest achievement to date x

When Britain joins WW3 and conscription comes into play, guess who has a free pass because they’re dislexic, this guy x

Thanking you Stade Rennais F.C. William Hill x

We love incest bribery x

Notts Forrest what do you expect?

Not my proudest wank x

Well that’s one way to confess to a crime x

He’s back 🤩

Comments like this diverting blame, instead of supporting and moving forward are just as much of a problem hun x

🎶No Scotland, Let’s party🎵

Green laser for sale. Only used it once. Open to offers DM me if interested.

Every 18 year old lad with a high skinfade on a night out x