You know what's not interesting? Cow diarrhea. Sorry, Pa.

...Fly in a *plane*, of course.

Someday I'm going to heat vision that display case by the principal's office with Clark's Pulitzer-winning article into tiny little pieces.

(Metaphorically.)

It's fertilizing season at the Kent farm! Wheeeeeee kill me.

...Honolulu, Missouri. We will drive there. In the car we totally have.

I step away from Twitter for a month to have some summer fun and Conner Kent gets more followers than me?

Trust me, folks, he's not that interesting. Unless you consider "sitting on the couch in your underwear eating pie" to be interesting.

...*Underwear-eating pie* would be pretty interesting, though.

Somedays you just want to heat vision the whole world.

Uh, hypothetically. If one were the sort of person with heat vision capabilities. Which I am not.

Sorry I haven't been on Twitter for a while, guys. I...kind of forgot English. I know, super embarrassing, right?

Not that there's anything to report besides Ma working herself into a tizzy over Clark's birthday. You'd think he didn't have 1 every year.

She's determined to make a cake with 75 tiers, for some reason. IDK. Humans, right?

Happy birthday, Clark Kent! You're definitely my second-favorite cousin.

Wait, does Mon-El count? Or Karen? Whatever. Top five at least, big guy.

My knees are cold.

Has anyone seen Clark? He said he was going for a walk, and I haven't seen him since.

Ma is on a pie-baking FRENZY. I just barely saved Streaky from accidentally getting baked into the world's first pecat pie.

Clark's been staring at Pa's old Nehru jacket a lot lately. Why do I feel like everything's about to change?