😂 | 👍🏼👍🏼 / \ 🥾🥾 Felt cute, might steal ya bish later

Getting fat is like falling in love; very slowly and then all at once

A new development in “oh that’s why I’m broke.” Just spent $40 on Ecuadorian chocolate products #proud #noregrets 💸🍫

It’s Christmas, I’ve eaten 7 late night grilled cheeses, also 5 “uk” cold grilled cheeses which are just butter and cheese layered which are also FIRE

*callita on repeat*

Unfortunately no mor hamZ reviewZ toni8t but here’s a vid of me looking sweg in an heirloom dead murdered slaughtered and skinned alive fox jacket.. get @ me, millennials .. wait am I one of those?

2020 goals: •gym •tan •laundry

Goals

I’m jealous of people who can say they’re “lit majors”

I really miss my friends 😕😩

The past few months have felt like that weird time between Christmas and New Years

Finally after 30 years on this earth I’ve discovered my mom and I have something in common: our love for Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” album

It feels illegal to eat a croissant without first ripping it to fucking shreds

Lunar eclipse and a shooting star this morning was my only motivation to go to the gym

PSA to my blink fans .. nobody likes you when you’re 33 either

Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party was so lame

Blanche: I do love the rain. It reminds me of my first kiss. Dorothy: Your first kiss was in the rain? Blanche: No, it was in the shower.

If you start an episode of Golden Girls at 11:59:48 on New Year’s Eve, Dorothy will bite her fist exactly at midnight.