Call me old fashioned but I just think it's extremely inconsiderate and incredibly rude not to respond to rage emails.

Tony Soprano acting like a child is my actual personality.

Someone on Instagram just implied that natural (EMPHASIS!) childbirth is equal to accepting God's love. Who is checking this Christian math? Are the charts and instruments freely available? Does anyone know how to convert? Thanks.

Really happy to be in therapy and finally accept the ways in which I am NOT elegant.

On Fridays after 15:38 you can find me refreshing my email praying that everyone is done being bothersome AF.

Ug, your tweets are shit and so are you.

I'm probably going to spend the rest of the day wondering if Kim Kardashian ever had to work for Paris Hilton for free.

If #ChrisRock deserves a slap for that joke imagine what Will Smith deserves for that slap.

Can't wait for the weekend so that I can finally read all the very valuable information on my open tabs of Wikipedia pages.

So we as your followers have chatted about it and you don't have to give us such regular updates about your life because we actually don't give a fuck.

Stressful emotionally taxing braais are my heritage so I am having the family over today to celebrate.

Every now and again I find myself looking up, frowning and being like "how even the fuck does the internet work?" and I go back to being sassy.

Sober me wakes up really often to find that drunk me did quordle and I am always disappointed.

People on TikTok making sooo much money off of their unbelievably cute dog and all my unbelievably cute dog gives me is a shit ton of sass.

Am I crazy or does Malcolm Gladwell sound like John Mulaney doing his most boring voice?

People say you are the main character in your own story but I am becoming more and more convinced that my dog is the main character and I am the complication

I'm just really happy that Liam Hemsworth got out of that relationship

My boyfriend's favourite podcast is me explaining the plan.

Sending love to all my lost lipsticks

Orcas don't hunt THEY MURDER #frozenplanet2