i’m pretty sure my coworkers were hired by the CIA to get me to kill myself

hey sorry for being a bitch earlier it’s just that too many noises were happening at once and my pants feel too tight

the grocery store is my happy place

I need an espresso martini, Caesar salad, truffle fries, and a forehead kiss with $10k and some peonies on the side. Nothing too crazy.

I love that gay little onion, the shallot.

Can’t wait to survive another week

"its all in your head" ok :) i live in there so :)

you want me to turn 27? the number of dresses that killed katherine heigl??

ms. makeithappenforherself fr

As Biden quit his job today I couldn’t help but wonder…. maybe I should quit mine

When you've already given your all and it's only Tuesday

happy valentine’s day my loves 💘

turns out, that light at the end of the tunnel? huge fire

god forbid a woman just wants to lay in bed and do nothing

"people you may know" & it's someone i would set on fire