I think twitter's unfollowing people again.

DRINK. FALL. SPEW.

That's the best commercial in the world

Oh, hello, random person. You must not be on my level, also.

// Alright, it's 5:47 am. My mom gets off of work at 6:00 am. That means I have approximately 7 minutes to stay before I have to pretend —

// — like I've been asleep for hours.

// I get very paranoid. I'm not allowed to be on Twitter. 😂

*** take not taking.

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

// Alright, my seven minutes are up. Replies in a few hours. Goodnight. ✌🏼😙

// On Sunday, I'll be leaving for a week. I should be back either the 20th or the 21st.

Words I can never spell correctly the first try: exercise • rhythm

The world's longest pizza consists of 1.5 tons of mozzarella and 2 tons of tomato sauce, was baked using 5 ovens, and is almost a mile long.

"What are you doing? There are no weapons in this mission! I will not do time for you. I will roll over on you. You said you were a Mexican—

— not a Puerto Rican!"

😂😂😂😂

|| Sorry guys I was on vacation

Blonde hairs, no more cares… Bring it Barbie 💁