first off, this is where i live

if i was an elected government official the first thing i would do is ban pitbulls and leaf blowers. then maybe i’d start working on the less important stuff like corruption and environmental planning

pouring out half a fifth of jaeger and three cans of red bull into a jug and callin it a jaegernuke

i’ve lost my faith in womanhood

the irony of being blessed with a calmness and understanding of others that rivals even the greatest peace mediators, yet the curse of being given the most gut-wrenching infuriating soul-crushing ails and heartbreaks known to man

if i knew it would last i would drive six hours through Canada and knock on her door with flowers and give her the biggest hug i have ever given anyone in my life

grown man listening to kesha on full blast hitting a watermelon flavored anti-peat vape wearing all polyester driving one of the least fuel-efficient vehicles on the market do as i say, not as i do

if she asks about me, tell her i’m not dead yet

Du du du dueh max verstappen

5 drunk women trying to convince me to audition to become a disney prince

at the end of the day, nobody cares for coyotes

i get one good night of sleep and all the sudden i think i can conquer the world again

you’re LA and i’m newbury park

letting my bsf play charli xcx on speaker phone as i’m driving while neither of us say a word. ethereal.

currently craving antihistamines

from death to death transfigured No. I think Bullet Train is good because I am capable of experiencing joy

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When I was 13 I was waiting outside of a mall for my dad to pick me up. I was probably barely 90 lbs then if that. A HUGE black guy ran up punched me shoved me to the ground and stole my phone and purse. Broad daylight. When I got up I realized it was all black people watching

Your ability to hold eye contact with another person is directly tied to your level of consciousness