“Before you put the nut in your mouth, they moist m-man Dude”

Intrusive thoughts of my ex BE-GONE

Cackling by myself because I’m a progressive witch

Thank

Should I braid my overgrown undercut? Do some edgy shit?

My exsistance can be summed up with Lyft, Reddit, Snapchat, and tinder.

tofu: exists me: 🥰🥰❤️💕💕💓❣️❤️💖🥰🥰💘🥰💝💝💗💗🥰🥰🥰💟❤️❣️❣️💖💖💕💕💓🥰💞💞💖💝💗🥰❤️❤️

I met a baby

Hey marshal, do you wanna jump in the mud and wallow around like the pig you are? 💕💕💕

Lmao I’m spending the beginning of valentines swiping through tinder lmao

I’ve made it, time to delete the app

I would like a “call me by your name” summer

are penises real

Why couldn’t I be a blade of grass?

Dad (texting his lady): what do they call that? Me: what? Dad: where they stick the hose up your ass? Me: a colonoscopy? Dad: thanks

I need lots of alcohol in my system

I need cheaper pizza. Thanks

I’m sick to my stomach. Congress just excluded one of the poorest demographics from the largest economic stimulus package in the history of the world. Are you a college student whose parents still claim you as a dependent? Well you get absolutely nothing from the stimulus bill.