not drunk until “nort dekoda” comes out my mouth

I miss twitter 😔

Hey North Dakota State Fair if yall would announce the last of the concerts, that’d be great. I’d like to plan my summer now

farmer found my twitter it’s so over

If an alien abducted me I would say Ok

“Then I just won’t talk to you”

How do I print this off so I can hang it on the wall?

hi North Dakota State Fair it’s me again, just wanted to let you know that all the concerts were announced by this time last year ⌛️

they stop asking you for ID once the light in your eyes is gone

This is the type of picture that deserves to be painted.

Boy do I have news for you

Remember folks, these women never met each other.

painkillers stat

Happy birthday, weed

“I just wanna go home” bitch you haven’t BEEN home since your husband died??? 😭😭😭

Every time Trump’s poll numbers drop:

he would’ve fought the hantavirus himself if it was on his ship