Everything you need to know in one picture. Hope the poor cabbies who thought the price of eggs was too high are happy now.

The Daily Mail now classing sandwich fillings as 'woke'. This is 2024 Britain folks.

John Rawling, the darts commentator on ITV thinks Luke Littler appeals to young fans because he 'plays electronic games', 'eats pizza' and 'watches Breaking Bad'. #Littler

Dimi on the oche again completely pished. Some boy #DutchMasters #pdc #littler

Ex Albion keeper saves a penalty to knock Rangers out the cup. Pleasing.

I see we've already got the usual suspects rushing to let the echo chamber know that they always knew Graeme Dott was a wrong 'un. Naw ye fucking didnae.

Remembering Stuart. 11th April 1958

Just saw that The Lighthouse Family are trending. Everyone calm down, it's thankfully NOT because they are making any new 'music'. Panic over.

Just when you thought comedy goalkeepers were s thing of the past, up steps the Stranraer keeper, Sammy Kane with the worst display of goalkeeping I've ever seen. Know what the worst thing is? It's given us hope.

Graeme Dott missing on the board that shows former champions in the Crucible arena I see. He's probably away practicing his deep screw on a tight pink somewhere...

Derek Adams relegated. Pleasing.

RIP Mike Peters. The Alarm were such a great band back in the day. And he filled in for Stuart Adamson admirably when he fronted Big Country a few years back, even releasing an album of new material. Sad day #RIPMike #Alarm

BBC pandering to the 'Ronnie' crowd again this afternoon by making that the main match on the channel despite every proper snooker fan preferring to watch Trump v Brecel. #worldsnookerchampionships

Racists thinking that newly elected councillors will 'stop the boats' is another example, if any else were needed, that these cunts are the thickest bastards ever.

Gen Z'ers will never understand this, but back in the 70s and 80s, dying in quicksand was a very real, if highly irrational fear.

Big shout out to the sad Mag bastards in Morrisons last night cheering on Coventry. You might be top 4 and winning trophies now but we still live rent free in your heads. Haway the lads. #SAFC

Celtic yesterday, Rangers today. Two sides with nothing left to play for. Number of up and coming young Scots in either starting line up - ZERO. Oh, let's have bigger leagues, means clubs can blood young players, better for the game, etc. Utter shite.

RIP Glen Michael. Legend.

£13million up front for Granit Xhaka is great business when you consider Sunderland once spent the same amount to bring in Didier N'Dong. #Xhaka #SAFC

Granit Xhaka. Doesn't seem that long ago SAFC were signing the likes of Callum McFadzean. Please sort the defence out now.