The older I get the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

elon musk spending $44 billion on an app where a shrimp fried this rice goes viral every week

u should be able to order a chocolate chip cookie medium rare

Them: are you nervous? Me: about what? And yes

bagels should be free for girls

every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun

Last tour I’ll probably ever go on. Hope to see you guys on the road! I love you all and I’m the luckiest man alive.

20 hours of sleep later, thank you guys SO much for baring through that rain with me. A night I’ll never forget

on a day like this it feels right to reiterate that all my homies absolutely hate ticketmaster

thank you to my Auburn University family, you’ll forever have a special place in my heart. let’s make this season the best one yet. WAR EAGLE!

i wish i could quit my job so i can focus on my true passion which is sleeping

“what is it with sad songs and cowboys”

gap between xmas and new year’s just a week of confusion

RT if you want tickets to see Parker McCollum on opening night at #RodeoHouston with a hotel stay and meet & greet passes

as a girl i should be allowed to speak to the moon directly

I live in Alabama, and I have never once in my life seen a Safeway

clearing my schedule

keep pool tables in bars

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