That #HalfTimeShow was lit.

Unsolicited titty pictures save lives

No body : My Teacher: “They are so cheap that they’ll squeeze the nickel so hard the beaver will shit 😅😂😂😂

I’m 28 years old and I finally understand the purpose of stretching before physical exercise. #soreasfuck

Always ask for extra crispy fries when ordering poutine

When Ted dies in the first movie I still tear up a lil

My roommate has been showering for like 45 mins and I’ve been waiting to poop the whole time. This is torture

Condoms prevent mini vans

Close up we’re all just molecules and isotopes.

The people of Truro drive so damn slow

One of my guys Chase Kuria had the SLICKEST knockout tonight in his kickboxing debut, my guy Jamahal Hill worked with him last month and told me to put him in… he was ready 🤯👏🔥

Never would I ever think I would be able to buy an ounce of good weed for 60 dollars. What a world we live in.

The new Sandman series on Netflix is a 10/10

It’s fricken cold yo

Best kind

*metallic plays in the background*

Thanks Wiz Khalifa for spending 590 minutes with me in 2022. Kush and OJ is always on. #smokelikethe70s #TGOD #SpotifyWrapped open.spotify.com/artist/137W8MR…

Earlier today I pulled into a parking spot and as soon as I was getting out of my car an older lady in a brand new truck pulled up bumping old G-unit. We looked at each other, dead in the eyes, nodded, and continued about our days.

Hey Dairy Queen your chicken strips are getting smaller every time I go what gives? Might as well advertise them as chicken nuggets.

You wanna change your outlook on life? Get your elbow area tattooed.