One like and I'll put my Christmas tree up this week.

on today's episode of things I hear in bars that I wish I didn't: "All the girls with morals already have boyfriends so you gotta settle for the ones without morals." -great value brand country boy

can someone tell me WHY my type physically is one of those Busch lite drinking yee yee boys and mentally my type is a library-loving nerd who studies ancient literature and philosophy in his free time?

I've got friends out there getting married and starting families and I still out loud say "why" if a guy so much as tells me he likes me.

today I chugged 300mg of caffeine at 8pm, played volleyball for two hours, stopped at the bar for a beer, and then got taco bell. you could say I'm living my best life.

hi, what's up. my name is Mac and in HS my superlative in the yearbook was "most likely to travel the world". I am now 23 and I have yet to even see the ocean, much less travel the world. just been thinking a lot about that lately, carry on.

I stop believing people's words when their actions don't match.

some guy just messaged me to tell me he missed me and I replied with a random meme. it is so incredible that I'm single.

I can be a bit of a doormat sometimes, I'm a people pleaser. And a lot of people in my life tell me "set boundaries, don't let people use you." But I'm starting to notice they actually mean "set boundaries for those other people, but not for me, I'm entitled to your niceness"

most girls on their boyfriend's birthdays: *cute long post and a nice dinner with heartfelt gifts* love you, babe. me: well, here's a dart board with your least favorite co-workers face and a beer and Koe Wetzel tickets. let's get mexican tomorrow, asshole.

alright, kids, I have a question. why is popcorn the movie theatre snack. why not pasta or tacos. I wanna watch Cocaine Bear with chicken alfredo or mexican food, not expensive butter vessels.

you can't even tell me I don't have the cutest damn siblings ever seen.