Fuck china

We got political assassinations before we got GTA6... #ripharambe

I legitimately thought Jane Goodall died like 40 years ago

What if they are just waiting until right before he's outta office to release the list? Being the king clown of social media is his style...

OK, so the east wing is being demolished without a permit to rebuild... typical trump... but my question is what are they doing about the asbestos from the 1902 build and the 1942 renovation? Asbestos wasn't phased out until the 70s, just giving everyone free mesothelioma?

Sometimes you gotta put your big girl bra on and get your own breakfast

Sitting in a porta potty pooping right now, its blowing 50mph and the door lock doesnt work very well

Fuck you YouTube I own all 9 seasons why did you remove play next? Fuck you Google Google Play

As an ass man I will concede that big tits are nice, but y’all are playing fast and loose with nipple size and I don’t respect that.

My new hobby is putting random items in the Walmart delivery picker carts,

It's a great time to use this to make animorphs the TV series again

If you put your christmas tree up before Thanksgiving I hope your turkey is dry your Mac and cheese is soupy your rolls burn and your cranberry sauce melts

I cant drink chocolate milk, I have blacktose intolerance

I might be a 2 but my 5 different personalities make me a solid 10

Applied for a job as a welder today... when I went In for the weld test I pulled out my trusty tubes of JB weld and started mixing and then they escorted me off the property, like wtf ... its hard out here for a pimp these days

rememebr that one time Geraldo Rivera had zero OPSEC and told the Iraqi's exactly where and how we were attacking them from?

We’re told that The Crusades were a Christian attack. News flash, fuckos- Muslims were overtaking the continent of Europe and it was retaliatory. You’ll hate to hear who the Muslims allied with…

Hey Elon Musk why don't you make Tesla vehicles inoperable if the driver has a cell phone in their hands?