DAMMIT

NASA just revealed a heaven-like planet where you drink a beer on a boat. They’re calling it Earth.

Can’t have shit in Detroit

Like tell me this isn't insane

Yeah I guess we’re not winning this one are we lol

this is a crazy way to find out that Lululemon sells a $20 hot dog

The only Big Beautiful Bill I’ll ever care about

*scores touchdown and pantomimes smoking a brisket for 18 hours*

And we're supposed to believe this guy had a 100 point game

I got the new college football game and I don’t even coach the games, I just recruit. I’m in these teenagers homes hitting on their moms and eating soul food

Wonder if I should do something with my life or kinda just continue to hang out

"I'm broke" - Cheap (can't spend) - Stigmatized for lack of funds - Have hit rock bottom "I'm choosing to stay below the first apron" - Frugal (could spend but won't) - Revered for financial willpower - Doing well enough

If I’m gonna do anything in this life, it’s going to be dedicating my November-April to a Tom Izzo basketball team

Fuck it, Shilique Calhoun highlights

Asked a guy his hobbies and he said, "I like to dilly dally"

Please put me in the Tigers bullpen

Holy hell we might actually have to trade Skubal

tarik skubal averages 1.5 war a month you’ll never be him

Sorry for the delay! I went for a walk and experienced the briefest bit of joy, reminding me that perhaps life does not have to be a prison of decks, emails, and meetings about Q3 Action Plans, which in turn sent me spiraling in existential panic for 3 hours but I’m back now!

Background news banner at the beginning of an apocalypse movie