My best friend’s baby came out with a head full of red hair. Completely ruined their ginger reveal party.

Cheers to every 3yr old ever for thinking that ‘pretending to fall down while their parent is attempting to dress them’ is the funniest f-ing comedic bit of all time. I loathe you.

If Mattel toys really wanted to f@ck with everyone, they would make a Transformer named ‘Steve.’

The only thing about Jason Aldean Fans I think people should be offended by is a 50yr old dude wearing hoop ear rings and a wallet chain in 2023.

In 1979 I was 9 yrs old and I saw Trevor Francis play in the Pontiac Silverdome for my Detroit Express. He was the first soccer star I'd ever seen...and he wore white shoes. Years later in 1994 I wore white shoes for a #USMNT game in the Seattle Kingdome...because of him. RIP

Congrats Calista—for proudly repping Kuttawa KY—and being the only person under the age of 35 who knows more about 90s grunge music than I do. Murray State University

If you don’t think Nirvana was a monumental band, ask yourself how many times you’ve been in a bar/venue & heard someone (full band or acoustic ) try to cover them ? Hardly ever. They were “that unique.”

My 3yr old, 5yr old & myself have games where we makeup names for mediocre Transformers like ‘Donkey-Tron,’ ‘Dino Snail ‘ & “Stega-Sloth.” We also have a Paw Patrol member we’ve created named Doug whose only super power is their ‘employee discount” at Home Depot.

You’re welcome ..again.

5yr old just got into my car and asked to listen to “Bastards of Young” by the Replacements. My job here is done. See you at college graduation kid.

Music Video To Celebrate The Government Finally Finding Their Missing F-35 ✈️🎵

One of teachers at my kids’ car pool line just told me to “have a great weekend.” She’s in for a harsh realization this Thursday morning.

As the transfer of leadership unfolds, Mayor-Elect Burgess and Mayor Summey will work closely to ensure that the needs of North Charleston’s residents are met without disruption. Together, they are focused on creating a seamless transition. northcharleston.org/news/a-seamles…

‘Cold plunge’ is the ‘kale’ of 2023 & all you annoying motherf@ckers know it!

‘How’d it work out for the Gamecocks having Trump show up?’ Clemson grad Haley says yahoo.com/news/d-gamecoc…

Meanwhile at the in-laws..

As an organ donor, I find the holiday song ‘Last Christmas’ highly offensive.

Starting a car repair shop that doubles as a paranormal research center called ‘Auto Body Experience.’

This store knows how to keep a guy in suspense.

If no one else is going to say it, I will: Phillips Seymour Hoffman would have totally played the role of Lou Pearlman better than the real Lou Pearlman did in the Netflix #dirtypop documentary.