Congrats Omaha Ben

me in Omaha for 2 weeks: $0 ✨💕 me in Chicago for 1 night: $242.99

Hey FedEx I would like to report some fabulous customer service over at store 111 N Wacker in Chicago. Have been a frequent customer the past year for work and let me tell ya they sure are helpful! Give my guy William a raise!

My lil sisters name is Gigi and I just found out tonight that her best friends call her “grenadine” “giggly-puff” “giggle-tini” and my life is complete

It’s just kinda one of those Monday’s where you leave work early to go home and eat Taco Bell in your robe

Serious question how old do you guys think Shrek is?

I’m not like other girls

Just convinced a group of 15 guys that my golf handicap is a 7

You guys won’t believe this but I ran a marathon on Sunday and on the train there I realized I forgot to put on my Apple Watch. Unbelievable. 🤡

I fucking love sports and I’ve said that since day 1

Should I start tweeting again? Like this if you think so

I haven’t tweeted in a long time but I have to break my dry spell to tell everyone that I lost my liquid blush when I went out tonight and I’m really upset about it

Nebraska lost but what’s more important guys, is that Colorado lost again. Let’s not lose sight of what’s important! #coloradocansuckit