Same energy: youtube.com/shorts/eu-T_l8…

🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS🚨🚨 French Security Services have released the name of the man they believe to have orchestrated the daring jewel heist from The Louvre, announcing that the mastermind of the plot is none other than Pierre Despereaux (pictured on the right in this photograph)

Look, the Democrats are looking to recruit all kinds of nontraditional candidates to win the 2026 midterms. They're calling it "Operation Paperclip."

The inevitable expansion of Ohio

When I said Sofia Vergara was my girlfriend is irrelevant to whether it was Sofia or a Waffle House waitress. You know nothing about how Finnish men call all beautiful celebrities “girlfriend.” Stop supporting genocide.

When I was a few weeks postpartum with my second child, I bundled us both up and waddled into the Fairfax County Circuit Court to testify against a man who had accosted my then-toddler daughter and I in a public bathroom while I was heavily pregnant. When I arrived I was brought

What a great win for freedom of speech in the UK. I’m sure this newfound respect for differing opinions will be applied consistently in other cases if, say, someone were to protest trans men in women’s sports or say a silent prayer outside an abortion clinic.

#𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕋𝕣𝕖𝕜

The timeline lining things up nicely tonight CC: Sickos Committee Three Year Letterman

Would love to see someone try to disrupt a Baptist Church service in Northeast Georgia. They wouldn’t have gotten past the vestibule Hell hath no fury like a Baptist when the sermon doesn’t end by noon so we can beat the Methodists (all of whom are going to hell) to lunch

There is only one person humanity can trust to properly handle alien encounters

I have no idea (or desire to know) who clavicular, androgenic, etc. are, but if they insist on continuously “mogging” one another then I propose we hereafter refer to them as Moggles

Some people unfairly criticised this scene in the Obi-Wan Kenobi show, where he hid Leia under a trench coat, but this level of subterfuge is absolutely consistent for a guy whose alias is Ben Kenobi, wears robes indistguinshable from a jedi's, & hides on his enemy's home planet.

This is a good joke told in the wrong order.

Jesus to Satan, Holy Saturday, AD 33:

carter🌚 with every step

Gonna be funny when we finally do meet the aliens and they’re from a planet called Malachandra, here to help rescue us from the bent one. That’ll be N.I.C.E.

Will you please join me in prayer? We are in Lourdes and will put my wife in the water tomorrow. She was recently diagnosed with cancer and we are praying for a miracle. Thank you so much.