Why is it that when Mark gets up with Evie on a Sunday she gives him a lie in but when I get up with her she is awake at 6:15 🫠

Me in my 20s sleeping at a friend’s house: “Don’t worry that you haven’t got a spare bed, I will sleep on the kitchen floor or in the bath or folded into a cupboard or in the big bush outside your front door” Me now I’m 40: “Thank you for the offer of a spare bed, but I’m going

I want a reason to get dressed up, do my hair and make up and look cute 😂😫

It’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m crying at a bluey episode ffs 😂😭

Sitting here commenting on the houses on buying London saying I wouldn’t pay £12m for that house whilst knowing I can’t even afford a premier inn for a night 😂

If someone wants to Uber eat me some chocolate I would be very grateful 😂😫

So happy to be seeing You Me At Six next year, I may finally get to hear save it for the bedroom live! The amount of times I’ve seen them and they didn’t play it 😂

I could easily see this happening to me, chocolate is life 😂😂

The BBC: Here’s a fun game, Britain! As if things aren’t bad enough, something you’re eating is contaminated with an awful bacteria that’ll make you shit yourself, but we’re gonna make you guess what it is!

Can I just win enough money to pay off my mortgage please 😂 that’s all I ask 😫

Does anyone remember when ppl would send in homemade birthday cards to CBeebies for their toddlers and there’d always be a little photo reveal in like a balloon or something? That was love 😭

Ffs all I keep saying whilst walking around the house is ‘I’m looking for a man in finance’ 😂😂

So many stories recently about nursery staff/childminders murdering babies, how is this meant to make parents feel reassured their babies are safe whilst they work, some don’t have a choice but to use nurseries 😭 it’s so scary

I feel like I’m due a shopping spree in b&m and the range, if someone would like to donate me the money to do so that would be great 😂

Pickford 0.4 seconds after making a save

This Lidl documentary on Netflix is so fake, it’s 7:30am on here and the have someone sitting on every till waiting for the store to open 😂 you’re lucky if there’s 1 till open at Lidl

Why am I getting emotional at the 3 network advert 😂 maybe it’s bringing me back to the sleepless nights with a newborn not knowing what I was doing

Hear me out, but what if the election results were announced in a Eurovision style? "Good evening Clive and Laura! Thank you for a wonderful show! The parliamentary seat for the constituency of _______ goes to..." 😂

Huw Edwards only getting a 6 month sentence is disgusting!