My children can turn any activity into a competitive sport I need a whistle and referee shirt for the rest of #winterbreak Tonight’s game is an intense round of taking the ornaments down from the tree

the cdc recommends yelling NOT IT and running away really fast

Before having kids I expected to be sleep deprived for the first year, maybe two years tops. I was wrong. So so wrong.

When you drop your phone off the bed and try to reach for it without getting out

My first grader was having me help spell out a word and asked, “Does it have a top comma?” From now on that is my new word for apostrophes.

Grouches gonna grouch on Sesame Street. 💚 Thanks for visiting our neighborhood @BrettGoldstein! We love you!

Someone please explain to me why toddler boys get pockets in their clothing but grown women don’t

Today’s car conversation: My daughter, 4: You’re the best bubber ever! My son, 7, very matter of fact: Probably when you are 6 or 8 I will like you more. Right now you are just kind of meh.

Today’s tasks as a cat model meownager: Take my cat’s measurements to add to her photography studio account Update her availability schedule for photoshoots Plan out some more content for her Instagram feed

This morning my 4 year old daughter told me, “Happy Smothers Day!” Accurate.

Me: WHAT IS THIS FILTH?! 6, watching Cookie Monster make zucchini nachos: …

Anyone else feel like they’re stuck in a shitty game show and the host keeps saying “but wait there’s more” Just me?

“It was already Christmas! Why isn’t it summer yet?” ~ my 5 year old

1:48 am My 5 year old, in a whisper-scream: IT’S LEPRECHAUN’S DAY! Technically, yes…

New handle, soon to be new profile picture. With so much hatred and restrictions directed towards marginalized groups, it’s time to be Louder With Love.

"When the speaker gaveled down the people demanding that their representative be heard, he was driving a nail in the coffin of democracy. But you cannot kill democracy that easily. That is why they kept chanting, let her speak."

#NewProfilePic

Looking for hilarious Valentine's cards for your Galentines? These Angry Cat Valentine's Day cards will bring a giggle and some delight: affirmingprints.etsy.com/listing/166718…