Being a book cover designer and staying up nights not understanding what the author/editor/publisher want for their covers has well prepared me for being a father. Thank you, publishing. 🤓

What’s it like having a teenage boy? My son just ate a 50 piece bag of pizza rolls and is asking what’s for dinner

Aliens are obviously real right!?

What do you do when you purchase wifi on a flight and the shit doesn’t work? It’s a conundrum bcuz you can’t email & complain.

Work in progress. End table with drawer.

No skips allowed; what is an album that is a perfect 10/10 in your opinion?

Just say you don’t feel well and this is your office.

This chick is my hero and super, duper, smokehouse-y, HAWT! #GO_BELGIUM !!!

I’m sittin on the path behind my Apt building…waiting for the piece of refuse assweasel who is stalking my amputee neighbor downstairs. I left the Colt upstairs. Cops have been and gone…’out looking for him’. High confidence there. Xtensible baton and cell. Idiot. Me or him?

okay but is it still a sundress in the dark?

Torn meniscus this morning. Jade hit my leg sideways at full speed. I was already torn a bit since October car crash. Now…fuck

I had heard something about titty pics being out and sky pics being in

Happy Birthday, Ringo!