You had me at rat pizza.

After you buy a boat you automatically make new friends lol

I honestly think Ray-Ban glasses for only $24,99 isn’t a bad deal, even if it is for only today.

Beer pong partner on Saturday, breakfast date on Sunday kinda love...

Being nice doesn’t get you fuckin anywhere nowadays...

yeah i might be stupid but at least i don’t miss my ex

I hate when the second you get in your vehicle after work, somebody pulls up waiting for you to leave. Like I will literally sleep in this bitch before I let you rush me.

The most important meal of the day, servin it up Jonny’s way.... “cracks open beer “

Literally paid for gas and pulled off without pumping the shit...

I would park 20 miles away from the front door during this stupid freezing rain storm...

I reckon it’s time to get a new bank card. The chip is gettin all rusty.

We go together like Busch Light and Cheez It’s baby.

Good thing about having all your windows and even the windshield in your truck tinted black as possible, nobody can see you eating like a little piggy.

What kind of dumbass forgets to grab the money they pulled out of the atm? Me... I’m that dumbass.

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