i dont like when people have tall grandmas

Guy who’s only seen sardines in the wild commenting on a wide-open space: We’re like sardines out here

that man Ronald mcdonald just kick it with anyone what the fuck is grimace

I can throw a football through a car wash and it’ll come out dry. Why would I need to go to therapy

getting so tangled in the video store's adults only bead curtain they have to shoot me in the head like a broke leg horse

PlayStation 2

SHRIEKING

Wrote a page of "Mad Men Returns" with 78-year-old Don Draper pitching the Quiznos Spongmonkeys ad.

Been working on a legit theory that the number one and the number two flush buttons on the toilet both do the exact same thing

does anyone know if it’s safe to eat eggs that expired a hundred years ago

If i see that one more guy in the grade above me is touring a distillery with his college buddies im gonna lose it

Damn I told yall in 2017

i love art

Everyone knows it’s Grimace’s birthday but did you know that he’s turning 83? He’s not doing well and has been on a ventilator for over two months

caffeinated hot dogs, CBD gasoline, crab flavored shrimp, a pill that makes you 90 years old for a couple minutes, ovens but they make food cold instead of hot, a grill you can use inside, a wife who can’t divorce you, uhhhhhhhhhhh