I feel emotionally abused by Newegg notifying me that the controller in the series x bundle is available but the system isn’t...

So I just told a shirtless dude that he looks like he's still wearing a white T to which he responds "why are you wearing a sweater?" •__•

Why did no one think of this in highschool!?!!!!!

Let's say you're having sex with an invisible chick. She goes invisible while you're inside her. Can you see your dick still?

“fillwerrell: Girls hate Ray Rice yet love Chris Brown but… pic.x.com/M1l4Y69fpU” Joey

So I told this otherwise successful person to "not fuck everything up like always" in a sarcastic tone. Now I'm in trouble :(((

Watched a couple Halloween episodes online and thought "it's too damn early for this!" Turns out it's the 20th and this entire month flew by

Some dude tried to call me out for being at the dorms during work.. But where was he at when I was pouring concrete at 4am? #gofuckyourself

I'm at this hookah bar in Kuwait. They're playin techno and all kinds of crazy shit. No one but the dj is turnt up even a little bit.

Kuwait would be so much better if it wasn't a dry country #beensoberfor4months #superupset #allsadface

I just Rick rolled everyone on my snapchat and now that song is stuck in my head. #doubleedgedsword #NEVERGONNAGIVEYOUUP!!

Two days in a row a pretty lady has complimented my mustache... Nothin wrong with a little ego boost

home trip has already been delay by 2 days because people have been postin the leave date. Sweet guys! Not like I wanna go home or anything

When a NCO reports you to leadership and only gets himself in more trouble>>>>>>>>> that's that shit I like.

What does a vegan conspiracy theorist talk about first?

6 months without a drop of booze and my mom sends me beer flavored jellybeans.... I'm getting closer my the second.

“@LifeCheating: You can remove blood stains on clothes with Coca-Cola.” It works to get jet fuel out of clothes too.

I never thought about this! “@LifeCheating: Want a cheap Xbox One or PS4? ”

Paused on Nerdist 's O face. #hisorgasmstickle #PodiumBJs