i love when people project bc now i know ur deepest insecurities, dumbass

they called him Sleepy Joe because we could sleep at night

drinking something and accidentally spilling a little on yourself is so humiliating. i feel like an idiot baby who just tried using their mouth for the first time ever

i love notes app

remember who you are weird girl

there are two versions of me at work 1.highly competent 2.staring at my screen like I’ve never read before

gonna eat 7 edibles and telepathically apologize to everyone in My mind

ARE WE AN ITEM?????????? GIRL QUIT PLAYING! WE JUST FRENSSSSSSS WHAT ARE YOU SAYINGGGGGGGGG

justin bieber just played the deez nuts video on youtube during his coachella set lmaoooo

Israel is so insane it’s making Kim Jong Un sound based.

next time just take him out back and shoot him

im just in my bed fartin

I love saying “sounds good” at work and dont shit sound good

NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani just made history. New York’s first-ever pied-à-terre tax — an annual fee on luxury properties worth $5M+ owned by people who don’t even live here. Ken Griffin bought a $238M penthouse in NYC. He doesn’t live here. It sits empty. While working New

ain't loving no man at his lowest anymore, see you when you up bitch

computa make it stop

just farted so loud my cat stopped licking himself to look around