Guys, I know it’s controversial but Alice gave birth and it went well. I’m so happy for her 🥹

Normal people while taking prednisone: WOW I feel great! A little jittery but great! Me on prednisone: severely depressed. So much so that I’ve actually noticed how I can flip that switch and be happy in front of people just to flip right back into it when I’m done. Scary

wish i didn’t love to complain but unfortunately i’m just really good at it. who am i to deny the world my gift

“i’ll tell you later” tell me now or ima throw up

My favorite thing to do is shit talk my sisters fiancé and then run when he comes to beat my ass. Best BIL ever

So I called Adam to help me figure out dinner. I didn’t want to cook. We settled on Taco Bell. He didn’t want to buy the teenagers food. So now I’m the lucky one who has to go spend $60 in taco stuff AND cook. Would’ve been cheaper to go to Taco Bell 😒

Asked Adam to not have an attitude this morning because he was speaking disrespectful this morning. Told him to go to bed. He called his boss and asked if he needs to go in. His boss said if he wanted to try he could. This motherfucker left an hour early and made it to work.

Someone drained my bank account. Hacked into my PayPal and ordered food too. Hope they get food poisoning and shit themselves

Bought a elfbar today. Decided I’m done vaping now. This is the 3rd and final time I quit.

School meals should be free for everybody. Charging children to eat somewhere they are legally required to be for the entire day is exploitative.

I don’t need to watch greys anatomy again. I don’t

On the 007 John Doe episode of greys and knowing who it is makes it worse

The guy who pulled “The One Ring” Magic card worth $2,600,000 took this video before sending it in for grading…

Hoping I don’t have cholestasis but also hoping I don’t have to spend 5 more weeks itching bc shoo I’m not gonna make it

Oh I forgot how easy it is to cuddle a newborn all night

if yo man grabbing yo booty pretending it’s big when it ain’t, that man really loves you